"The only way you're going to get experience is by actually playing." I overheard that from an older guy giving a younger guy some advice during lunch at a Satyrs MC, Badger Flats run. It's some of the best advice I've ever overheard (before this post). I related to the younger guy's desire for confidence during play. A decade later, and after attending many kink classroom classes, I have to say that 95% of my skill and confidence has come from actual play.
I started getting a lot more experience when I was honest with potential partners about my limited experience. Somehow, I'd come to believe that a Dom/sub scene was very ridged with lots of ways for it to go wrong. Be perfect, or you suck. After I changed my pre-play convo to a more playful, "We're just two dudes in a playroom," everything became more funk, sexy, and satisfying for both of us.
"The only way you're going to get experience is by actually playing." I overheard that from an older guy giving a younger guy some advice during lunch at a Satyrs MC, Badger Flats run. It's some of the best advice I've ever overheard (before this post). I related to the younger guy's desire for confidence during play. A decade later, and after attending many kink classroom classes, I have to say that 95% of my skill and confidence has come from actual play.
I started getting a lot more experience when I was honest with potential partners about my limited experience. Somehow, I'd come to believe that a Dom/sub scene was very ridged with lots of ways for it to go wrong. Be perfect, or you suck. After I changed my pre-play convo to a more playful, "We're just two dudes in a playroom," everything became more funk, sexy, and satisfying for both of us.