The 80/20 Rule of Sex Gear

Pausing for a moment before purchasing sex-related clothing or toys can reduce expenses while also improving your play.

A few weeks ago, in advance of a big kink event I was attending, I was shopping at one of my favorite gear and sex toy stores. It seems that prior to any big kink event I end up wondering if I have just the right thing to wear or gear with which to add to my play repertoire.

Of course, the sexy salesperson at the store was smart enough to show me one of the new erotic gadgets that just came onto the market. Without getting into specifics, let's just say it was quite a cool device. I bought it.

However, I didn't buy it too impulsively. One of the things I've learned over my many years of purchasing sex gear is that I often end up not using it. The same applies to leather and fetish garb.

Things looks incredibly enticing at the time, but then when I actually get into the bedroom or playroom, or when I’m deciding what fetish clothing to wear or pack for a trip, I end up not using much of what I own. Why is that? I believe it has to do with what I call the 80/20 rule of sex gear.

Many of you reading this will recognize the 80/20 rule. Originally known as The Pareto Principle, it contends that about 80% of effects come from 20% of causes and its origins are from the business management theory realm. A version of the 80/20 rule has also been applied to economics, time management, and many other aspects of life. I'm applying it to sex gear.

So, my 80/20 Rule of Sex Gear goes like this: We tend to use 20% of our sex gear or wear 20% of our fetish clothing 80% of the time. Maybe you've discovered this too. Your exact percentages may vary, but I bet most of you reading this who navigate within active kink communities can relate to this phenomenon.

During your erotic play you likely tend to reach for the same few toys and devices while the bulk of your collection sits idle much or all of the time. This tends to happen with fetish clothing as well. I've talked about this with other people and everyone seems to have similar experiences. So, back to my recent purchase.

As the salesperson was showing me the cool device that I ended up buying, I temporarily suppressed my natural tendency to want to own every sex toy I see and paused for a moment. I projected my thinking into the future and asked myself “Will I really use this often enough to make the purchase worthwhile?” Obviously, I felt I would. But pausing to ask myself that question has eliminated a lot of unnecessary purchases over the years and honed by sex gear collection and fetish wardrobe to items I use most of the time.

This has a few advantages. Of course, one advantage is that it saves me money that I might otherwise spend on things I won't really use. But even more importantly for me, by focusing my money and efforts on fewer items that I end up using more often, I use them to better effect.

By having fewer sex gear things that I use more often, I use them more effectively during my sexual play. My skill level with them goes up significantly because I use them so much more often. I'm also not rifling through a toy box or toy bag filled with unused items trying to search for that one thing I use a lot.

So, by all means, buy whatever you think you’ll use. Whether it's fetish clothing, kink gear, or other sexual paraphernalia, I always encourage people to expand their horizons and enjoy sex in all its forms. Just add my 80/20 rule to your sexual retail outings or online purchases and you'll not only save money, but you'll probably improve your play and hone your fetish looks as well.

Also, never forget that some of the best erotic play happens without any fetish garb or sex gear at all. The mind is a powerful “toy” we can use to great effect. The human body can experience a multitude of sensations without the need for anything except the people involved.

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