Simple Community Building

The easiest thing event organizers can do to build real human connection requires nothing more than a sign and a suggestion.

On some level, this post emanates directly from my last post, “Just Ask,” in which I extol the virtues of realizing that sometimes the only thing standing between you and what you want is the courage to ask.

An extension of that post’s sentiment is something I’ve been thinking about for a while that might enhance sexuality and relationship conferences. Leather conferences. Kink conferences. Relationship lifestyle conferences. LGBTQ conferences. The list of the types of conferences or large gatherings where my idea can be applied is endless. It’s not confined to just those types of events. It can work at any large, organized gathering.

At its root, this is about building and fostering community. Community is made up of people meaningfully connected in some cohesive way. The foundational entry point for that is two people meeting, face-to-face, and acknowledging each other’s existence. If more comes from that interaction, great. But nothing happens until two people meet each other, then two more people, then two more people, and so on. Community is built from the ground up.

In “We Need Community Now More Than Ever,” I mention how vital a strong community is to everything good we do as a society.

The more I ponder the importance of community, the more I realize it’s the cornerstone of just about everything we do in such groupings of people. Without community, there’s not much cohesion or cultural forward movement. Without community, organizing around common actions and efforts becomes overly burdensome and problematic.

Here is my idea.

What if event organizers suggested in their onsite signage, or perhaps on websites or other collateral, that attendees introduce themselves to at least five new people each day of the conference or gathering.

It doesn’t need to be extensive. A simple “Hi, I don’t think we know each other. My name is _____” will suffice.

If such a brief conversation extends beyond that, great. But if not, people meet someone new, improve their social network, and perhaps have a nice conversation.

Zero cost. Zero pressure since it’s a suggestion and not a directive. Because the event itself promotes it, attendees are given permission to do such introductions which can help motivate the more introverted among us. The event can even have an agreed upon signal someone can give that they don’t want to engage at the moment.

If conferences and big gatherings are, at least in part, about building community, this is a no- or low-cost, simple way to do that.

As an example, imagine a few large, printed signs in key thoroughfare locations at a conference hotel or venue. They might say something like this.

Welcome! Have fun. Meet new people.

To meet new people, we suggest you introduce yourself to someone new 5 times each day.

There is no expectation of extended conversation. Just walk up to someone you don’t know and say “Hi, my name is _____.”

Not everyone shakes hands or hugs. Don’t assume someone does. Introduce yourself and let that foster conversation, or not.

People are busy. Some don’t like too much social interaction. Some might already be deep in conversation, waiting for someone, or otherwise not open for engagement.

If someone makes this gesture with their hand, please politely respect that they don’t want to engage.

[OPEN HAND GRAPHIC]

Even simple social connection requires some level of consent.

Enjoy the event. Meet new people. Maybe make a new friend. At a minimum, this creates stronger community.

If there are announcements made to big groups during the event, signage may not be needed. Instead, insert a few quick announcements during proceedings to encourage people to meet.

That’s it. That’s my idea. The wording would obviously be adjusted for each event or made more concise. My suggested signage is admittedly a bit wordy.

I’m sure this idea is not entirely unique. People have created other ways to encourage interactions at events. I’ve seen color-coded nametags, bingo-style games to get people talking to each other, and other connection strategies. The thing I like about my idea is it’s incredibly simple and doesn’t force anyone into more social engagement than they want.

If you run a conference or event of any kind and this might be something you’d like to try, I hope you’ll consider my suggestion or some variation.

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