Packing Light for Kinksters

The tendency to overpack appears to be part of the human condition, but packing for a trip can be significantly trickier for kinksters.

I travel quite a bit. Many of the destinations to which I’m traveling are kink (leather/fetish) events of some kind. One of the constant personal struggles I have is packing for these trips. Striking a balance between ease of travel by packing lightly and being prepared to be appropriately dressed and have play options at hand is not always an easy problem to solve.

Over time, I’ve developed some personal packing guidelines with much of them spawned not by packing hacks per se, but by some realizations about what I’ll truly wear and use.

First though, the luggage packing itself. Much of how I approach packing these days is reflected in the spirit of an article by David Pierce and Michael Calore, “You’re Packing Your Carry-On All Wrong. Here’s How to Do It Right.” The article specifically mentions carry-on luggage packing, but I contend the spirit of the advice applies even if you’re going to check your luggage.

Rolling your clothes instead of folding them, planning to wash and dry clothing on the road, reducing wrinkles, planning to mix and match and layer clothing, and erring on the side of digital reading and entertainment during a trip is all good advice.

Regarding avoiding wrinkled clothing, buying and packing clothing that doesn’t wrinkle in the first place is better than trying to eliminate wrinkles on the go. I own clothing from Unbound Merino and Ably, all of which resist wrinkles and can be worn for extended periods of time without smelling.

Kinksters and sexual adventurers of various kinds might have certain kinds of fetish garb they like to travel with alongside their day-to-day clothing. If you’re someone who likes to wear a different full-leather outfit every day or change your outfit a few times a day to fit the kink you’re enjoying at the time, packing becomes even more challenging. Still, I contend there are solutions.

I choose to travel with all black leather and pack just a single basic combination. If it’s classic enough of a look, no one really cares that you’re wearing the same leather each day at events at which leather is a norm. There are also some lighter and thinner styles of leather clothing which can help with packing.

Truthfully, I’ve attended many kink events wearing nothing but a rotating selection of t-shirts and a packed leather vest along with the leather jacket, jeans, and boots I wore on the plane. Boots take up a lot of room as do leather jackets. So, I usually wear them on the plane to avoid packing them.

Plus, and I know leather purists will balk at this notion, the leather community isn’t as much about “leather” itself anymore. There are a plethora of fetish looks that now pass community muster at most events. Sports gear. Rubber. Spandex. Pup garb. The list of accepted garb at kink events is growing, even amid some of the more rigid norm cultures such as certain sectors of the gay men’s leather scene in Europe. Many of these options pack tightly and lightly. Even the ubiquitous norm of always wearing boots isn’t as common as it once was with the sneaker fetish growing quickly, especially among kinky gay men.

Now, for some my realizations and how they inform my packing.

I’ve historically worn about 50% of what clothing (kink or not) I pack. Despite me having every intention of wearing something I don’t usually wear, much like I do at home I default to wearing the same few items over and over. I now do a post-trip assessment and write notes to myself detailing what I did and didn’t wear so I’m more realistic the next time I pack.

As for kink toys and equipment, my success rate with using what I pack is even more abysmal. Before I began paring down my packed play stuff, I estimated over a few trips that I had used about 10% of what I packed. That meant I lugged around 90% of that sometimes-heavy stuff for nothing. Sure, one could make an argument that you want to “be prepared just in case,” but that hasn’t worked out well for my trips over the last few years. I now only pack a handful of things that I know will be more likely used when I play.

I’m not going to offer any sort of list here of what clothing, gear, or toys you should pack. That’s going to be entirely situational to your needs and desires depending on your destination. But some intentionality when packing is wise.

Make a packing list. It helps. Make it well in advance of your trip. If applicable, have a packing list that applies to when you’re flying or driving to an event. Flying brings with it more restraint (pun intended) than being able to pack up a car with whatever you want. Still, even when driving, there is an argument to be made that the more you pack the more complex the trip will be since you’ll need to juggle more stuff once at your destination, and then pack it all up again when you return.

Also create packing lists based on the type of travel. If you’re on a vacation and might stop into a local leather bar or attend a local event, your needs might be quite different than if you’re traveling to a dedicated kink full weekend event.

Having separate packing lists for each type of travel can serve as templates you can copy and modify for each trip. That’s what I do ahead of a trip. I find the most recent packing list for the type of travel I’m doing, then replicate it and modify it specifically for that trip. Sometimes the list is so well honed over time that I make few or no modifications to it at all.

I always travel with a backpack that will fit under a plane seat. It contains everything vital for which I’d be distraught if it ended up not making it to my final destination. Medications. Laptop. Basic electronics. Those sorts of things.

You might assume that if you travel with carry-on luggage, you’ll always be able to take that on the plane with you, but I’ve seen many instances of overpacked planes and people ending up having to check their carry-on luggage. Having everything that’s vital packed in a backpack eliminates the downsides of that risk.

If you’re a shopper and might buy some things at your destination, leave some empty room in your luggage for your potential purchases. An alternative is to pack a thin, collapsible bag in your luggage you can use if you need extra space during your return trip. But I’ve found the more packing leeway I give myself, the more I end up buying. So not relying on the extra bag solution has made me more cautious with my purchases and that’s turned out to be a good thing.

The bottom line is to be honest with yourself. What will and won’t you wear or use? Then with that information at hand, plan your packing ahead of time and employ what specific packing tips reduce your packing footprint to the smallest you can comfortably create. I recently traveled for three weeks to four cities in Europe, including a full week at a huge multi-day gay men’s leather event, and I still ended up not using at least one third of what I packed between my single checked luggage and carry-on backpack. So, even though I’ve worked diligently to pack better, I still ended up overpacking. Perhaps that’s just human nature, but it’s a predilection I’m trying to overcome.

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